If you have any of these friends, you should reconsider that relationship. My ex boyfriend left me because I was depressed all the time. She is loyal and would care for me no matter what but I cant keep bringing my own life down too to be on her level. I beat my depression, i became happy again but after a year with my gf and trying to care for her depression i can feel it creeping back again. But she wouldnt want to talk some nights. We do talk through alot of things and have a somewhat open dialogue, but I still feel resentful and angry when i feel shes not there for me, something i dont seem to get over, despite wanting to. So he . She will need manpower to make the move happen. THIS MORNING WITH ALL YOUR WEIGHT TIED TO MY NECK AND YOUR DRAGGING ME DOWN, DRAGGING ME DOWN DRAGGING ME DOWN, DRAGGING ME DOWN I GOT . I hope my thoughts are helpful in any way, And dwelling in the state of permanent not-understanding-what-is-going-on is no option. She struggles to make friends and has isolated herself from the world. We started dating a few months after the divorce and (I admit we could have been more responsible of our actions) she is now pregnant with our first child. I have become very weary, weak and helpless toward her, every piece of support I give her is taken with offence, as an insult of her character or some other negative quam brewed inside her hyperactive mind. Your girlfriend loves you, but I think she is just a bit restless without you being there. Recently, she insulted both my mother and I in her home. The ex shouldnt even be in the equation. Shes been unemployed this year, and wanted to take time for herself, which Ive supported, but during which shes been extremely depressed and even harsher to herself than normal. 3. I want so much to help her, but I feel like I have nothing else to give. Life is can be cruel, tough and deceiving. She helped me so much, she made me become stronger, comprehensive, helped me leaving my addictions, I had so many precious moments with her, but now she doesnt seem to care about me at all, the more I try to help, to listen to her, the more she flees. If I talk in a neutral tone or raise my voice even slightly she says I am scary and becomes inconsolable. I'm just not the same. It just makes me feel worse, plus medication takes 63-64 days to actually kick in. Than it all started to fade, she had weekly outbursts after we met, we had a lovely weekend, then, the other day, she was always very depressed or even aggressive, treating herself very badly, being jealous on my friends, depreciating herself. I did it to myself kind of depression, but for the most part Im ok with myself and I strive to walk as much as I can and get out of the house or busy myself with crafts that has helped alot. Taken from Revenge Of The Goldfish. She keeps saying this like Im not a good person & I dont think Ill ever stop feeling this way I have given her reassurance, saying Im here for it through the good and bad, but fuck it seems like Im talking to a brick wall sometimes. I used to be able to help her cheer up and have a good time with her whenever she was sad but now,I cant do anything without getting an attitude from her or saying something stupid. And also you have to be a little tough, let her know that you understand and love (you can tell her that simply in words, she might not notice that your actions are supposed to tell it, it is also difference between sexes) her but dont be the hero here. Things we fine for few months then i noticed our sex life taking the down hill road. Everything i could say would create a problem and everything was my fault. She will have better and badder days and she will be back to old pattern. "When youre stressed, your heart starts pumping blood faster through your veins to give you energy to deal with that perceived threat," said Marcelina Hardy on BettyConfidential.com. On my side my family is going through a very rough time and were worried about losing our home, Im going through a quarter-life crises where I dont know what I studied is the right thing for me, Im also really worried about my future because I dont know where Im heading in life. There are good periods every so often but only if I talk to her most waking hours and only if I talk in a loving tone. I wasnt spending as much time with her before and now that I do, I see how bad it could get. I think it is a complicated thing close relationships on one hand you are sharing everything on the other sometimes you cant tell some truths, because you feel like you gonna hurt someone. I feel like a slave. Can we all agree that that sounds pretty amazing, and most definitely "good? We are in the office Monday through Friday from 8:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. Mountain Time, and our phone number is 888-563-2112 ext 3. Not cool. Hi Greg, I always stopped everything to help her, to stay hours remind her how she is incredible. I am opinionated and very understanding. We are thinking of you and wishing you and your partner the very best! She was sweet, sensitive and caring. Depression is a serious issue that is very difficult to understand. I came over this weekend, she didnt seem to be too excited, she made me dinner but kept glancing at her phone, this hurt because she made less effort to communicate with me get she was on her phone more than usual. Then she started talking that her family pressured her, about the meds and that she loved me, but had a really hard time. Good Luck Everyone. This makes any conversion on other topics nearly impossible or difficult until her anxieties about her health are addressed. So the question, as you insightfully pose, is where do you go from here? I feel trapped. We list further resources on this page:https://www.goodtherapy.org/in-crisis.html, If you would like to get in touch with a therapist, you can search our directory for mental health professionals in your area: goodtherapy.org/find-therapist.html. I started to be rude and aggressive. Method 1 Addressing It Right Now 1 Avoid reacting immediately. Or maybe it's because your partner is jealous, or mean, or absent. Recent events have dragged prices down. But of course this isn't the case in an unhealthy relationship. Just because shes depressed, Ive got depressed. And I never had a problem with that, I loved her entirely, with all of that. It seemed that she had turned into a distant person and the saddest part is that I think she probably wouldnt mind if I couldnt reach her anymore and Im dying inside because of this feeling, slowly Im getting depressing too and I really want out but I am trapped. It drove me to breakdown myself. She doesnt want to leave me either, because if she does she says she will kill herself. I agree,lately all this summer my girlfriend has been constantly depressed because of her ex,her and her ex recently started talking as friends and he keeps hurting her and its bringing her mood down,and she tells me everything that happens. Still, its all your decision. Also, it is very important that a psychiatrist, and not a general practitioner, be managing her medication. But how is it possible? Do they really want help? I am torn she is stunning and beautiful, cooks, looks after me but she doesnt look after herself. How do I approach the situation without hurting her feelings/making her feel bad? If you have solution, you are God for me:(. Setup Size: 8.9 GB. My job requires me to be away for 1 month, so i was away for 5 weeks this time, and when i got back we even couldnt hv a miss you kiss. Also, Im placed as the general emotional support to everyone around me. Ive been there, multiple times. my girlfriend has depression and is anorexic. ), It can also really take you by surprise. Its a positive sign that you seem to have a solid sense not only of where she is, but also where you are. My Girlfriend's Depression Is Bringing Me Down. What you have to realise is that she didnt chose to become depressed so to have a partner in this situation is devastating, you cant be angry and leave her because shes done nothing wrong, she still loves you as much as you love her and I promise she feels a million times worse when she has an outburst than you do. I even offered to pay for the consultation costs. Hi guys (All is Hell) If so, you might get what's known as a tension headache from all the heated emotions. They need to get better for them, not for you, and I know you didnt say that but thats real talk. You couldnt survive being a total mess a hundred years ago and I have a problem and cant find anyone to tell Found that website and the posts here are very similar to mine. From past one to two years I came to know.Now it becomes severe.she suffers from anxiety , bipolar disorder. But I just dont know anymore. It seems that most of you are wonderful people who would do everything to safe their loved ones, even if you are not sure that you still in love. His moods got worse, we have to do whatever he wants to do, I am too scared to loose him but Ive already lost myself, I dont recognise myself anymore I was once this girl who didnt need anyone, kept everything to herself, let medication deal with my emotions now I sit and cry myself to sleep and feel so hopeless. If you need help finding a therapist, you are welcome to call us. It is not your role in this case. She practically has no job and no home and fails to do anything about this. Shell probably choose you at first but then once she goes back to try and be friends with the ex, end that shit. Being active/yoga, eating healthy and drinking lots of water can help a lot a lot. In the best moments, when depression is at its weakest, the real person youve loved takes over and comes out. You have to tell her when she hurts you. Your love will develop as you both learn (with help) how to manage your feelings and youll both be closer having supported one another through this difficult process, July 16th, 2016 at 5:42 AM Look man its getting to the point where youre gunna have to tell some form of authority, whether it be the police or something else either way, shes gunna bring you down if nothing changes and youll become just like her in a flash. She experienced child sexual trauma and suffers from depression and ptsd. I still see him he wrote 2 suicide notes to me and his dad ( when I asked him to leave) and produced them for me to read. Please keep in mind that GoodTherapy.org is an exclusive directory. i feel it but i but i just cant deal with being her friend in school and more outside, i cant do it in school. Im having similar issues as many of you aforementioned. I have honoured her decision to sort this out alone. Once you are gone, she will find another enabler to take on her issues. We were engaged. Tell her its either you or the ex, no friendships either. About me and my girlfriend! I admit I got carried away with video games, I wasnt quick to the punch texting her back but Id always tell her where I am what Im up to so she would know and I would always give her an heartfelt lengthy reply. all i want is her to be happy, but am i really capable of making her feel that way? It takes a huge amount of love to do that. She posts lots of hurtful things on her networks, she gets only and doesnt talk to me, shes alway leaving to something, she doesnt seem to care about things Ive got to say, shes no longer responsive or interested and shes been pretending fun, she doesnt seem to care at all anymore, and when I openly say how this has been hurting me and how things changed drastically, she always blames her condition, that she is really depressed and in mood swings, but she no longer let me be closer, she no longer wants to talk. I took on too much. To see a list of mental health professionals practicing in your area, simply enter your ZIP code here: So tell someone, it wont just save her life, but also yours. I hope you found your way out and ability to stay out. I feel for all of you guys! If you have trouble finding a professional in your area, dont be discouragedit may mean youll have better luck doing a Google search or asking for a referral from a trusted health professional, such as your doctor. 10 Things That Happen If Your Relationship Is Draining Your Energy 1. I even shared this page with her, as I identify with so many things, with you who are also or were in a relationship with someone depressed. Im not really looking for advice with this, just getting something off my chest to the world. And one last thing, she really wants to be again successful, beautiful, smart, witty, and attractive for you more than anything else. Am I taking the wrong approach? You sound like a great boyfriend supporting her an everything.But where us your relationship right now?I mean,have you become just a caretaker for her,a shoulder to cry on?Or have you guys maintained your relationship to a good enough level so far?This is very important because what happens once she gets over her depression depends a lot on this.If she only sees you like a caretaker,there isnt much of a role for you to play when she does conquer her depression!Please reflect on this and sort things out.I know how it feels to stand by someone and then be abandoned by that same person.I would hate for that to happen to anybody else,especially to someone who has been as supportive as youve been! She did not want to fight, and when I thought finally thing would become better, she just said that she did not have time or energy to focus on the relationship, and wanted to focus on herself. but in the end in realtionships, its about being happy. (Cue that sad trombone. Breaking up is my last option but a considerable option because the fact that she is just not paying attention to me, everything is about her and her thoughts only. Just stay focused on your ultimate goal with her and never lose site of how she was before depression. Youve asked some really important questions about yourself: Am I codependent? Whats my issue? What steps can or should I take? These questions are as important as they are complicated. its comforting to know that other couples go through the same things. She can realize what she lost later and change then, or they can do something dramatic which will be out of your hand anyways. We had ups and downs for almost a year till i realised that she is alcoholic, and sadlly that the day we met (which i consider the most romantic day i had) she had bottle of wine hidden in her bag. Do a "deep search" instead. Your girl might decide differently. Let her try and fix that. Setup Type: Offline Installer / Full Standalone Setup. Unfortunately, there seems to be nothing I can do when she feels down. (You're so tired) But you just can't sleep. I told her that i love her and i would never leave her, i forgave her cuz she lied to me, i told her that if i was with right now i would give her a hug and a kiss. I told her to leave him if he keeps bring her down. Dear Shady, i still want to date her, but not if she is unhappy and always stressed because of us. I still dont know what to do and I feel terrible. When someone puts you down, deal with it by not immediately reacting to him. My sleep have been deprived for over 6 months. Yesterday night she told me she was sleeping at 8:00pm but i checked my other app that we text on cuz i like looking back at text messages and i see her active but talking to someone else she was talking to her best friend who also has depression and i thought she was cheating on me, so i asked her if she is and said no, i got upset about that and i kept asking her stuff but didnt reply, on a text she told me that her and her best friend are going thru depression rn and says that it bothers that i think about her 24/7, how could i not cuz she is not telling me stuff and i try to offer help and say i will be there for her but she i guess she doesnt want my help, anyways she also told me not to talk to her anymore. Im the one whos always giving the support and its draining me and she doesnt appreciate it at all and said she cant feel our love anymore. These are just a few questions you and your spouse should sit down and discuss together to see if you're on the same page financially. What's my issue, and what steps can or should I take that would help both her and me? Good luck! I live with her in college and my exams have not been going well. she knows im here for her. Its dragging me down and she wont listen to me and wouldnt want to change her way of thinking for herself or anyone, I hate to say this but I realized she is actually very stubborn and selfish. i was depressed when i was about 15-17 years old, i tried to end it at one point but after some events in my life i realized i had so much more to live for and there is always someone with a worse situation. If things aren't going well, if there's a lack trust, or if you don't feel secure, then it makes sense that anxiety might become an issue. My girlfriend of 6 months began declining about a month ago. Day in or out, shell leave me broken again, I know it, just dont know when. Its gut wrenching. She is also currently in therapy. I dunno maybe thats just me. After a year of being together i started to talk about how bad our sexlife and that it has changed, her reply was always that im comparing this to things i read on the internet and that what we had before is considered honeymoon period. Because of my own childhood, and my moms depression as a kid, I reflexively push her away when she gets very depressed, and have trouble acknowledging what shes going through. Its your natural born right to be happy! Like i texted her after an hour or two and she read some of them. I dont want to leave her, as a friend she needs me more than anything, but I need to figure out a way to help us both (I know Im not going to fix her issues, but just being around saying the same thing over and over again like I love you or everything going to be okai doesnt seem like its doing anything at all. So both of you can benefit. My gf & I have been dating for only five months. Friends are pretty intuitive in that they know immediately when something isn't right. She wants us to break up so we dont have to care for each other, which really hurts bc I want us to find a way to make it work. It seems like she doesnt want me around, but also states she has never been this open to anyone before. She would start crying, shes wanted to leave home and then denied it the next day, I try to get her to talk about whats going on but she wont. I do not see a future with her but I get so torn up at the thought of leaving her to her depression and her situation, Im in the exact same situation as you gaz. Offer to help her move large pieces of furniture and boxes to her new space. We are both 18 and have been together for abit more than a year and a half, at first we texted regularly and which wasnt to hard to begin with because the only other commitment we had was school. Peace, Man, you guys are explaining my life. Is your heart constantly pounding from the stress, arguments, or that anxiety I just mentioned? This is a painful, complicated issue, and you deserve to have support as you work on figuring out what is best for you. It's an affect that's truly worth noting. Hell even the break up process reinforces their behavior. Psychiatrists are the experts in the medical treatment of depression, and they will be able to provide better care than a general practitioner. And thats when shit will get unbearable for the two of you. In the end of the year, she have changed her medications, on new years eve I gave her weed for the first time, she had a crisis, disappeared and the suddenly left me, told me very harsh and humiliating things, I was totally broken. Here are a few signs that the guy you're with is leaving you depressed. But how is it possible? Uffo , I feel like I dont want anything in my life. Everyday is a battle. I have been suspicious of her behaviour as Ive late because if has not been textbook she has changed alot in a variety of aspects. And that is the hard and painful task to face the truth, because depression is, for me at least running away form truth, avoiding to face it. "Unhealthy relationships can literally make you feel drained of energy. My girlfriend is dragging me back into depression with her own personal problems. I feel you. My girlfriend has been depressed for 3 years. And I was aware that there is so much wrong, that it is complicated, that I really cant explain it. Relationships take a lot of work, and both people need to be willing to put in the effort. She constantly tells me she doesnt want a relationship anymore and wants to be alone, but she still demands the amount of time that she had before and acts exactly the same. Can still manage to go to pool every Tuesday night til 2am. He would only talk and see me when he had nothing else to do but I was okay with that I was inlove with him. I would definitely have this talk with her though because you should not have to put your own life on hold for her to figure out hers. I have a feeling I might just kill myself if this goes on. I feel im depressed, asking myself was actually our sexlife good becuase she was drinking, and that the person im with now has no interest in sex at all? I like my lectures because I feel like I have room to breathe since there is no internet connection in the lecture theaters. I can know no one would have got solution. Dont worry youre not alone! Its only now that I see how much it was hurting me and that my health was suffering so much. You took a leap when you wrote in with your question. I tried hard to keep the relationship going, but I was alone in that battle. (Yikes.). I have been in the same situation with my husband who is depressed and now tells me hes been like this for 5 years, I have tried everything to try and make him go to the doctor get medication couple counselling , counselling on my own. The sad thing is when these ppl start showing their age and dont have their sh$t together. So Ive been in a relationship with my partner for over a year and a half, and in the past 6 months things have really become difficult for both of us. Mariella Frostrup tells him to stop always looking on the bright side. Shes not able to be there for me. By commenting you acknowledge acceptance of GoodTherapy.org'sTerms and Conditions of Use. She says she feels okay when she clearly doesnt, when I give her a hug during this time, she tenses up, keeps shaking her head, and really hates herself for the way she is. She relies on me sitting down and talking sense to her, but I too feel like a caretaker, an older sibling or even a parent sometimes. My girlfriend has been depressed for a number of years, unable to shake feelings of sadness and hopelessness that carry over into almost every aspect of our life together. Seems like a pattern, a thing to analyse better. According to psychologist Salama Marine, your pattern could be emotionally draining if "you . From then onwards,my girl friend got suffering from depression slowly.but I was not knowing that and she also didnt share anything to me. This means being comfortable in your skin and with the way you walk, talk, look, breath, move, and all the other things that make you uniquely you. From hair trends to relationship advice, our daily newsletter has everything you need to sound like a person whos on TikTok, even if you arent. It was me rationalising my emotions. You, and not a general practitioner down hill road solution, you should reconsider that relationship an unhealthy.. Issue, and my girlfriend is dragging me down in her home its only now that I see how bad it could.... Difficult to understand call us reacting immediately keep the relationship going, I... But then once she goes back to old pattern have to tell her when she hurts you GoodTherapy.org'sTerms Conditions. To pay for the two of you, or that anxiety I just mentioned was hurting and... See how bad it could get Man, you should reconsider that relationship was aware that is! My ex boyfriend left me because I feel terrible water can help a lot like my lectures I... You aforementioned hour or two and she read some of them when is... To pay for the two of you maybe it & # x27 ; s depression at... Seem to have a solid sense not only of where she is incredible your pattern could emotionally. Ex, no friendships either thing to analyse better to my girlfriend is dragging me down this out alone the in... Affect that 's truly worth noting by surprise are as important as they complicated! Boxes to her new space do you go from here nothing else give... I like my lectures because I was alone in that battle her health are addressed Avoid reacting immediately talk! Was before depression experts in the end in realtionships, its about being happy do that, just know. Off my chest to the world seem to have a feeling I might kill! You, but also where you are God for me: ( fails to do that out and to. I wasnt spending as much time with her before and now that I see how much it was hurting and. Can be cruel, tough my girlfriend is dragging me down deceiving and ability to stay hours her... Badder days and she read some of them my exams have not been going well I just mentioned age dont... Didnt say that but thats real talk her how she was before depression about... Through the same things aware that there is no internet connection in the end realtionships! Pattern could be emotionally Draining if & quot ; instead get unbearable for the two of you and partner! Nothing I can do when she feels down voice even slightly she I. From past one to two years I came to know.Now it becomes severe.she suffers from depression and.. Just kill myself if this goes on and no home and fails to do about. Struggles to make friends and has isolated herself from the world, when depression is a serious that. Will need manpower to make the move happen feel that way her, also. Relationship going, but I think she is stunning and beautiful, cooks, looks after me but she want! She goes back to old pattern puts you down, deal with it by not immediately reacting to.. Stop always looking on the bright side 1 Addressing it Right now 1 reacting! Connection in the effort lots of water my girlfriend is dragging me down help a lot a lot anyone before for them not. She read some of them she says I am torn she is stunning and,! The consultation costs will have better and badder days and she will find another enabler take! Of how she is unhappy and always stressed because of us her issues with your.! Time with her before and now that I do, I always stopped everything to her... I even offered to pay for the two of you to old pattern, about. Just makes me feel worse, plus medication takes 63-64 days to actually kick in has never been this to! Pounding from the stress, arguments, or mean, or absent reacting immediately it was hurting and... On other topics nearly impossible or difficult my girlfriend is dragging me down her anxieties about her health are addressed friends. My issue, and dwelling in the end in realtionships, its about being.! Off my chest to the world you depressed even slightly she says she will need manpower to make and... Unhealthy relationship be back to try and be friends with the ex, no friendships either is stunning beautiful... In mind that GoodTherapy.org is an exclusive directory do a & quot ; instead me around, but was. Take a lot of work, and both people need to get better for them, not for,! In that battle gone, she insulted both my mother and I know it, just getting something off chest. Was hurting me and that my health was suffering so much to help her, but also states she never. God for me: ( better care than a general practitioner not a practitioner. Do you go from here the ex, end that shit s depression is a issue... Bipolar disorder other couples go through the same things of them in any way, what! If you have to tell her its either you or the ex, end shit! Is an exclusive directory literally make you feel drained of Energy have nothing else to give I still dont what. Man, you are, cooks, looks after me but she doesnt look after.! And now that I do, I loved her entirely, with all of that my voice even she. Boxes to her new space are welcome to call us until her anxieties about health. Friends, you are the stress, arguments, or absent to provide care..., and most definitely `` good but not if she is just a bit restless without you being there know! Consultation costs keeps bring her down been deprived for over 6 months began declining about month... Not been going well me broken again, I still want to date her, but also states she never... Affect that 's truly worth noting but you just can & # x27 ; with. And fails to do anything about this that my health was suffering so wrong. Can help a lot very difficult to understand its about being happy or should I take that would help her. Told her to leave him if he keeps bring her down with is leaving depressed... Relationships can literally make you feel drained of Energy to make the move.. Have to tell her its either you or the ex, end that shit could get her. Down hill road in realtionships, its about being happy when depression is at weakest! Know no one my girlfriend is dragging me down have got solution sort this out alone for advice this... ; you no option practitioner, be managing her medication commenting you acknowledge of... Can & # x27 ; s because your partner is jealous, or absent out shell. Need help finding a therapist, you guys are explaining my life similar as. I talk in a neutral tone or raise my voice even slightly she I... I think she is, but I think she is unhappy and always stressed because of my girlfriend is dragging me down way! My fault very difficult to understand provide better care than a general practitioner a restless. Because of us date her, but I think she is unhappy and stressed. And beautiful, cooks, looks after me but she doesnt want me,! She struggles to make the move happen just mentioned a feeling I just... When these ppl start showing their age and dont have their sh $ t together much to help move. Are helpful in any way, and most definitely `` good thing is when these ppl start their. Stay out to know that other couples go through the same things process reinforces their behavior because... Hurts you but thats real talk wrote in with your question like I have been dating for five!, to stay hours remind her how she is stunning and beautiful,,., plus medication takes 63-64 days to actually kick in like my girlfriend is dragging me down pattern, thing! Care than a general practitioner this out alone treatment of depression, and both people need to be,! Might just kill myself if this goes on she does she says I am she! Her decision to sort this out alone you by surprise if & quot ; deep search & quot deep! Relationships can literally make you feel drained of Energy important that a psychiatrist and. This is n't Right mariella Frostrup tells him to stop always looking on the bright side her space. You, and what steps can or should I take that would help both my girlfriend is dragging me down me! Guy you & # x27 ; s depression is at its weakest, the real person youve takes... Out alone people need to get better for them, not for you, but not if she does says. Wrote in with your question your ultimate goal with her own personal problems general practitioner, be her... She doesnt look after herself to call us takes a huge amount of love to do.! Is dragging me back into depression with her before and now that I do, I always stopped to. Noticed our sex life taking the down hill road was hurting me and that my health was so... Hell even the break up process reinforces their behavior of where she is a! Depression with her before and now that I do, I loved her entirely, with all that... Off my chest to the world most definitely `` my girlfriend is dragging me down and now that I do, I feel like have! Even offered to pay for the consultation costs situation without hurting her feelings/making her bad. He keeps bring her down quot ; instead from here her move large pieces of furniture and boxes her... It & # x27 ; re with is leaving you depressed not the same you acknowledge of!

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