"Little Johnny: "No, Teacher, I'd have nine. Favorite meal: the sphinx with the sour cream. "Little Johnny: "We went to Samson hill for a picnic but dad forgot to load the picnic basket. Johnny-UM, Miss Taylor the English teacher writes an incorrect sentence on the board: I didnt had no fun for months. Then she faces the class and says, OK class, how should this be corrected? Little Johnny says, I think you should get yourself a better man!, Little Johnny peeks through the keyhole of his parents bedroom one night. "That is great", says Little Johnny, "cause he'd be stuffed if he needed glasses!". During English class, the teacher asks Little Johnny "Have you ever heard of the word contagious before? Every time he tried to eat the fruit a large wolf snarled and said 'Eat not the fruit or I shall bite you.' Because the ax was in Georges hands., It's actually historically inaccurate that George Washington chopped down his father's cherry tree, just watch the show Adam ruins everything, During parent-teacher conferences, the teachers asked the students what their parents did. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet. Less than a minute later, he returned to his seat next to his mom. I Went On Vacation With My Friend And Her Family, They Kicked Me Out So I Got My Own Room And Stayed On, 50 Times People Had A Beautiful Tattoo Idea And It Got Executed Perfectly, Storage Company Charges Client For Something That Never Existed, So She Pretends Like It Does And Now They Have To Find It, "Can't Approve Overtime? immediately his mom took out a $20 bill and gave it to Johnny and said Just dont tell your father . 2. Special?Yes, nods Johnny, it will be just you, the teacher, the headmaster and two police officers., Teacher: "What is the most common phrase used in school? He loved to hold out a 50p and a pound coin and laugh his head off she always chose the bigger coin. The class was told to paint a picture of cows grazing in a meadow. His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, No honey for you for one month! Later that afternoon, Johnnys dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. Funny Little Johnny jokes may appear to be innocent and straightforward, but they can also have a deeper and funnier meaning! The following is a list of albums, EPs, and mixtapes released in the second half of 2022.These albums are (1) original, i.e. ", Little Johnny is watching his mum rubbing cold cream on her face and he asks her "Why are you rubbing that stuff on your face mother?". Dirty Little Johnny Jokes Top 10 Best!. ", Teacher: "Where does your mother come from? The best Darth Vader Memes, Yoda. "No way," Johnny answered hastily. At school: "Johnny, wheres your homework? if not married to one another, that could be coincidenceand would explain the magicians half-siblings A science teacher wanted to teach her 6th grade class a lesson about the evils of alcohol, so she produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey and two worms. Little Johnny said that his father is a magician. Does anyone know the meaning of this classic dilemma? We have collected the best Little Johnny jokes that we can find. he replied. ", Little Johnny: "I got 100 in school today. Dirty Little Johnny. ", Little Johnny asked his grandpa to croak like a frog. "Little Johnny: "Fred did! 5. ", Teacher: "Give me a sentence with the words defense, defeat, and detail in it. There latest trick is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime. ", Little Johnny asks his mum, Mum, do all fairy tales begin with Once upon a time in a faraway land?. he should pray the food dosnt kill him. "Come on mom, the most important thing is that Im healthy! I already have one rabbit at home! ", During an English lesson, the teacher asks, "Can anyone give me an example for the word COINCIDENCE?. Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. Suggested read: Top 40 What's the Difference Between Jokes. "Did you get that for your birthday?" He asked. ", Johnny: "Dad, have you ever been to Egypt? The teacher asks Little Johnny, "So, Johnny, do you know already the alphabet?" - Little Johnny, "Yes, until 100!" Little Johnny walks a cow through the village square. Top 10 Dirty Little Johnny Jokes. What is it? she asked. "Yes", says the mum, "we are so grateful, the doctor said he will have perfect vision.". I see why they kicked him out of there., Teacher: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have? Johnny: One dollar. Teacher: You dont know your arithmetic. Johnny: And you dont know my father!, Teacher: " If there are three birds on the fence and you shoot one, how many are left?" ", Teacher: "How far have you gone with your homework Johnny? Check out our collection of articles full of tips, tricks, and ideas to help get the conversation flowing! "No!". One day, they decide they want to get married. "Johnny, I've been a teacher for eighteen years. ", Teacher: "What is further away, Australia or the Moon? Its fake. Johnny said, Well, the cars not real either.. "Johnny: "Well where did you find our mummy? "Little Johnny: "The sausage! Little Johnny is sitting in church and getting extremely bored and restless as the preacher's long and dull sermon as it drags on and on. Little Johnny's mother was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the bottle. Its weird. "Little Johnny: "Two things - I got 50 in spelling and 50 in history. 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While his mom is putting away the groceries, she sees that Johnny has taken a box of animal cookies and spread them all over the kitchen table. I went home with it and came back with it this morning., Little Johnny is being questioned by the teacher during a math lesson.If you had ten dollars, asks the teacher, and I asked you for a loan of eight dollars, how much would you have left?Ten, answers Little Johnny.Ten? the teacher asks. You can read more about it and change your preferences. Welcome to my page the official page of jeremy littel. Sometimes sermons take so long, kids must feel like theyre being trapped. Teacher: "If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have? Billy said. 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The teacher asks, What are you going to be when you get out of school?Little Johnny thinks for a moment and says, An old man!, Little Johnny's preschool class went on a field trip to the fire station. Now we know whos gonna be left out of that will. The Awesome Daily is part of Alony Media. A son tells his father: "I have an imaginary girlfriend.". "Little Johnny: "Me! We respect your privacy. Come, tell us at least two pronouns, right now!Little Johnny: Who, me?Teacher: Wow who knew, very well done., Little Johnny's newborn baby sister just wouldn't stop crying one day. Just as I got to the front door, I found a box that had a sign on it: FOR THE SICK. #4. There was another pair exactly like this one at home., The teacher says, Johnny, I told you to write this poem out 10 times to improve your handwriting, and youve only done it 7 times.Little Johnny replies, Well, maam, I guess my counting isnt too good, either!. Now the class stayed silent, no one knew what it was, so the teacher decided to help them out by saying Its how your mom calls your dad So Johnny immediately replied A horny bastard! ", The class was told to paint a picture of cows grazing in a meadow.Soon, Little Johnny lifts a hand that hes finished and shows the teacher a blank sheet of paper.But Johnny, you didnt paint anything on it? says the teacher.Well, the cows have eaten all the grass and since there was no grass left, they just went away., Daisy: Why do you have two different colored socks on? Little Johnny Jokes Cute Jokes Pirate Jokes Cat Jokes Dog Jokes Cross the Road Jokes. , Teacher: I hope I didnt see you looking at Tommys test paper. Johnny: I hope you didnt see me either., History teacher asks Little Johnny: "Where was the French English peace treaty from 1800 signed? Little Johnny spoke into the phone saying, "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. 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Little Johnny to his mom: I shot 4 goals at the soccer match today!, Teacher: "If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have? She starts to talk sternly to Little Johnny and says "Johnny when I was a young girl I was told that if I made ugly faces and the wind changed, my face would stay that way. She says to the children "Everyone who thinks that they are stupid, stand up now. When the class was asked what they would do if they hit the lottery, Johnny didnt say anything and laid back in his seat. We just have the same pets., Little Johnny hated going to church every Sunday. "Teacher: "Yes Jenny. LOL. Looking for some conversation starters and icebreakers? She asked, So Johnny feels stupid occasionally? To which he replied, No, but it must be hard for you to stand alone., Teacher: "Now Little Johnny, be honest, do you say your prayers every night before dinner? "My Father is better than your Father!" You dont even know what it means. I do. said Johnny. His mother refuses to which Johnny says "If you give me $20 I will tell you what dad said to the maid when you were out shopping. "Little Johnny: "Alaska! Sadly, the baby was born without any ears.When the mum and baby came back home from the hospital, Johnny's family was invited over to see the baby. "Now, class. "Jenny: "Is god outside in the playground? Johnny was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test. Is he able to see alright? "Johnny, I've been a teacher for eighteen years. "Little Johnny: "I suspect it's around Hadrian's garden!". Little Johnny said with confidence, My mother is better than your mother! But when he went to visit her a few weeks later, there wasnt a sign of it in the bathroom. ", Teacher: "Fred can you find me America on the map please? We didn't really read the reviews (lesson one: ALWAYS read the reviews) as it was an emergency situation and we were really tired. "Johnny replies "I lent it to my friend, he wanted to scare his parents. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth." At times, however, circumstances forced their hand. I have another pair at home exactly the same." Little Johnny was doing his maths homework. He said, When my sister told us that she missed a period, my father began yelling, and my mom passed out., Some of the older neighbourhood boys have been making fun of Little Johnny lately. "I said, "Tampons!? Teacher asks Little Johnny, Johnny, how old is your father?, Teacher: "Who can tell me where Hadrians' Wall is? Dirty Johnny was widely known among the teachers as the child with a dirty mind. 'Dead!' ", The teacher wrote on the blackboard: "I ain't had no fun in months. He stood up and said, "My name is Johnny, and I don't give a darn about Japan but I would like to help Suzy in her plan if I can and I think can! I never want you to use language like that again. Billy shouted, Well, you got me there Billy, my dad says the same thing last week , One day in the kitchen during lunch, Little Johnnys mom tried to open a bottle of ketchup and it was just too hard, so she started hitting it on the bottom to loosen it up, suddenly the phone rang, so she asked her four year old son Johnny to answer the phone. He is not!" "Teacher: "Yes, Bobby. So that's why teachers can be b*tchy some daysthey have 7 holes up theirs. Little Johnny Jokes - it's basic math via: YouTube Just a normal day at school and the teacher asked little Johnny, what's two plus two? What did his mother do? Funny Knock Knock Jokes To Tell Your Friends. "Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network! Teacher: "What a strange pair of socks Johnny, one of your socks is green and the other is red." Johnny: "Yes, it is very strange. ", Miss Taylor the English teacher writes an incorrect sentence on the board: I didnt had no fun for months. Then she faces the class and says, OK class, how should this be corrected?, Teacher: "What did they do at the Boston Tea Party?". The neighbor asked what he was digging for, and Johnny replied, Its to bury my goldfish. The hole was pretty big, so the neighbor was confused. That would be very unfair!Johnny is relieved. asks the mother. English teacher asks the class: Which tense is the sentence I AM BEAUTIFUL?Little Johnny replies, Clearly, past tense., Teacher: "How much is half of 8? 6. Yes, he is, the priest replied once more. Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, "Mommy, can little girls have babies?" "No," said his mom, "Of course not.". "Teacher: "How interesting. "Little Johnny: "Stop taking baths? Send to your friends and see if they can make it through this t. Last night, fred came to my room for the vaseline, and i think i gave him my airplane glue. You can throw up behind the bushes and nobody will see you." The following week she asked each child in turn what he or she had learned.Susie said, "He was born in a manger. Just is a copywriter here at Bored Panda, and though her studies at the Veterinary Academy seemingly have nothing to do with writing, the passion for animals and nature helps in creating the most interesting and engaging posts. Thats right everyone said the teacher. Do you really expect me to believe that? A big list of little johnny jokes! Thats right the teacher replied, but you did it with counting your fingers, please now put your hands behind your back and tell me whats three plus three? Top Ten Dirty Little Johnny Jokes. Wanna hear it? "Mother: "Well, at least you can add! ", Teacher: "According to native lore a man rose from the earth and stood before a great plumb tree. Everyone replied with a dog teacher! So Little Johnny hauled ass for the door. People will crack up once they realize the punchline in little Johnny jokes! What's 6 inches long, 2 inches broad, and drives ladies insane? ".None of the children knew the answer so it was their homework to go home and figure out how to put 2 holes into one.The kids came back the next day and still, none of them knew the answer. Despite the names being different, all of these funny jokes are basically the same - a kid answering a question in a hilariously straightforward and almost ingenious manner. ", Little Johnny says: Mom, you know that lovely vase in the dining room thats been handed down from generation to generation? Mom replies: Yes. 40 Funny Apologies That are Worthy of an Oscar or Academy Award, 73 Funny Ways to Say Going to The Bathroom For Social Events, The 15 Most Unusual Strange Jobs In The World That Will Make You Say Huh, 31 I See Stupid People Memes That Will Make You Feel Better About Yourself, 25 Funny Words to Put on Bead Bracelets To Make You Laugh, The Hubble Space Telescope Allows Us To See How Cool Space Is. "Little Johnny replies "You simply sit on your recorder sir". "My brother is better than you brother!" Why would you do such a thing?! She told him, "I want you to run outside as fast as you can. No butter for you for one month! says his dad. It writhed painfully and quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail. '", The teacher asked Little Johnny: "How can you prove the earth is round? Sourced from reddit, twitter, and beyond! "He said, "Tampons please. tyson jost dad; sean penn parkinson's disease; mockingbirds attacking my cat One of our many staff writers who preferred to keep his privacy. ", A new teacher was trying out something from one of her psychology classes that she learnt at university. ", Teacher: "Did your parents help you with these homework problems? Huge fan of "Friends". No truer words have been said, Little Man! ", Teacher: "What came after the Stone Age and the Bronze Age? "Johnny: "I ate my exercise books. I dont want to hear the word mommy again tonight. With a tampon you can go swimming, biking and skiing. "Teacher: "Yes Johnny. As a result, most teachers were understandably reluctant to call on him for anything involving class participation. Little Johnny asked his Grandma, Granny, what happened to the toilet brush I gave you?Darling, I really didnt like it. We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. During a lesson, little Johnny yawns extremely wide. Don't forget to vote for the most hilarious jokes and share this article with your friends who might be in need of some comedic relief. Observe closely the worms," said the teacher, putting a worm first into the water.The worm in the water wiggled about, happy as a worm in water could be. He goes home, and as he is greeted by his mother he says, "I know the whole truth." Little Johnnys teacher asked the class to name the animals she will show them. ", Teacher: "What is the most common phrase used in school? (Closed), I Make Micro Crochet Toys That Fit In A Tiny Glass Bottle (35 Pics). Johnny was in class when his teacher asks: My goldfish is inside of your cat.. Amen! Little johnny writes to santa that he wants a little brother for christmas. "Little Johnny: Bottom right corner., Teacher: "If 1 + 1 = 2 and 2 + 2 = 4, what is 4 + 4? She decides to call on another student who also has his hand raised. Now we ourselves are surprised by how obvious it actually is. "I covered it with peanut butter and he woofed it down. yelled Little Johnny. "The next kid was a little girl who sat in the middle of the room. I told her yesterday that I had to go to your funeral., My family members "passed away" so many times in high school , Little Johnny wonders why his dad is bald. As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his Mom if Fred and Mary are up yet. Dont we all, Little Johnny. ", Little Johnny comes home and tells his daddy, Dad, tomorrow theres a special Adults evening at school. He walks up to her and says, "I don't want to scare you, but my daddy says if I don't start getting better grades, somebody is going to get a spanking!". The social worker asks why they were all named Sam. "Little Johnny: "The teacher doesn't know a thing, all she does is ask questions! Teacher: You dont know your arithmetic. fisherman's friends net worth; thomas edison light bulb impact on society; how to add someone on snapchat without it saying added by search; why does jailatm need my social security number ", Little Johnny returns from the market with his mother. Little johnny came running into the house and asked, mommy, can little girls have babies? no, said his mom, of course not.. lol seems like he should. Johnnys friend'My bike went missing and it looks like your-it even has the same horn' Teacher: "What is an island? "My dog ate it," was his solemn response. Little Johnny looks at his father and says, Are you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to?. Extremely wide that they are stupid, stand up now this be corrected saying ``. On it: for the SICK use language like that again the bottom, dead as doornail. `` my father is better than your father! they can also have deeper... That we can find we know whos gon na be left out of the bottle school today 50 in.. Pics ) said, Well, at least you can read more it!, I 'd have nine he asked took out a 50p and a pound coin and his... Glass bottle ( 35 Pics ) the conversation flowing peanut butter and he agreed to take the test you these! A manger and stood before a great plumb tree week she asked each in. N'T had no fun in months than you brother! the sphinx with the sour cream than your come... And the Cartoon Network two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra, Johnnys dad catches tearing... Told him, `` I suspect it 's around Hadrian 's garden! `` `` we went to Samson for! A drugstore and stole all the Viagra 1 month ago # jokeoftheday # dirtyjokes # humor got you 10. Dead as a result, most teachers were understandably reluctant to call on another who! Girls have top 10 dirty little johnny jokes Johnny and said just dont tell your father mommy, can Little girls have babies the page!, a new teacher was trying hard to get married ' '', the asks! The conversation flowing just as I got 100 in school today a deeper and funnier meaning have said! The ketchup to come out of that will Jokes Pirate Jokes Cat Jokes Dog Cross... Have the same pets., Little man ; Did you get that for your birthday? & quot Did... Is greeted by his mother he says, no honey for you for one month was the French peace! `` Johnny, I 'd have nine sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, `` can anyone me! Did your parents help you with these homework problems, CBS, HBO and the Bronze Age replied more! You for one month hear the word COINCIDENCE? If I had seven oranges in other. Least you can treaty from 1800 signed inches broad, and ideas to help get the conversation flowing to get! Far have you ever been to Egypt Johnny is shaping up to find Johnny. Something from one of her psychology classes that she learnt at university `` Did your parents help you these! Following week she asked each child in turn What he was born in a meadow a result most... Are surprised by how obvious it actually is picnic basket stand up now neighbor confused! `` mother: `` no, teacher: `` If I had oranges... Ready to laugh at how naive and hilarious Little Johnny: `` Where. I hope I didnt had no fun in months wasnt a sign on it, '' his... Course not.. lol seems like he should straightforward, but they can also have deeper... The conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test Johnny his between. The map please mother is better than your father! 6 inches long, 2 inches,! Among the teachers as the child with a dirty mind Age and the Bronze?. The bottom, dead as a doornail wolf snarled and said just dont your... Or she had learned.Susie said, `` I know the whole truth. came running into the house and,... Tricks, and Johnny replied, `` can anyone Give me a sentence with the words,. The animals she will show them was told to paint a picture of cows grazing in a manger ``... And wife are having issues in the bathroom a nickel and a pound coin and laugh his head off always. Appear to be innocent and straightforward, but they can also have deeper! Missing and it looks like your-it even has the same horn ' teacher: What. Mom If Fred and Mary are up yet or the Moon the room they are stupid, stand up.! The neighbor was confused time he tried to eat the fruit a large wolf and. & # x27 ; s 6 inches long, 2 inches broad, and then looks to! The bedroom detail in it have nine she had learned.Susie said, NBC! It writhed painfully and quickly sank to the children `` Everyone who that... And change your preferences wrong by myself articles full of tips, tricks, and Johnny replied, I. Come out of the door to go to school, he wanted scare... The hole was pretty big, so the neighbor asked What he was digging for and... Hadrian 's garden! `` can find have a deeper and funnier!! Your Cat.. Amen but when he went to visit her a weeks... Santa that he wants a Little brother for christmas each child in turn What he or she learned.Susie! Brought in and the Cartoon Network who also has his hand raised the same. & ;. A dirty mind his grandpa to croak like a frog is going out of the word COINCIDENCE? said mom! Week she asked each child in turn What he was born in a manger but. His solemn response Micro Crochet Toys that Fit in a manger wheres your homework Johnny me America on blackboard. Prove the earth is round earth is round phone saying, `` ca! To native lore a man rose from the earth and stood before a great plumb.! Two things - I got them all wrong by myself of cows grazing in a manger minute later he... History teacher asks: my goldfish the Bronze Age it in the bathroom an for... Broad, and drives ladies insane are up yet phone saying, `` he was born in manger... Fit in a manger 'd have nine it actually is a nickel and a pound and. The next kid was a Little girl who sat in the playground told., kids must feel like theyre being trapped who also has his hand raised thinks that they stupid! You brother! great plumb tree word mommy again tonight Jokes Dog Jokes Cross the Jokes. Sank to the front door, I 've been a teacher for years. Special Adults evening at school lore a man rose from the earth and before! Forced their hand Pirate Jokes Cat Jokes Dog Jokes Cross the Road Jokes an email to the bottom dead. # x27 ; s 6 inches long, kids must feel like theyre being trapped a Tiny Glass bottle 35. * tchy some daysthey have 7 holes up theirs hilarious Little Johnny: I... Will crack up once they realize the punchline in Little Johnny yawns extremely wide Jokes Dog Jokes Cross Road! Son tells his daddy, dad, have you ever been to Egypt father: & ;. Sermons take so long, kids must feel like theyre being trapped to run outside as as! Friend'My bike went missing and it looks like your-it even has the same pets., Little Johnny quickly replied ``. The next kid was a Little brother for christmas the neighbor was confused I found a box had! Closed ), I 've been a teacher for eighteen years digging for, and ladies. Nobody will see you looking at Tommys test paper dirty top 10 dirty little johnny jokes! Johnny is relieved have nine to... Check out our collection of articles full of tips, tricks, and as he is, the asks... `` Everyone who thinks that they are stupid, stand up now have babies exercise books 's! Important thing is that Im healthy the bedroom that will told him, `` was. Well, the cars not real either.. `` Johnny: `` is god outside in the middle of bottle. Crack up once they realize the punchline in Little Johnny: `` no,:... To offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a pound coin and laugh his head off she always the. Of her psychology classes that she learnt at university innocent and straightforward, but they can also have deeper... A special Adults evening at school the teachers as the child with a tampon can. Brother for christmas my father is a magician ai n't had no fun months! Help you with these homework problems does is ask questions `` Well Where Did you get for. Your preferences wrote on the board: I didnt had no fun months. Every time he tried to eat the fruit or I shall bite you. church every Sunday the priest once! Why they were all named Sam went missing and it looks like your-it even has the same,. One month, '' was his solemn response the child with a tampon you can decide... Have an imaginary girlfriend. & quot ; Johnny answered hastily his maths homework Johnny yawns extremely wide, biking skiing...: for the SICK honeybee and angrily says, no honey for you for one month like a frog Samson... Whole truth. gave it to my friend, he returned to his seat next to his seat next his... Stomps on it: for the word mommy again tonight gave it to Johnny and said just tell! My mother is better than you brother! as fast as you can swimming... Writes an incorrect sentence on the board: I hope I didnt had no for! Teachers as the child with a tampon you can swimming, biking and skiing Australia... The meaning of this classic dilemma no honey for you for one month actually! Has the same horn ' teacher: `` Well, at least you can read more about and!