The best 13 navy submarine jokes. Youre so hot that even the zipper on my pants is falling for you. Whats the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? Because youre hot and I want smore. 34. One slip of the tongue, and youre in deep shit. Q: Why did the Polak cross the road? From where does the Somalian coast look best? Are you from China? The Ploack comes out in five minutes. Please divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision. 24. 83. Why do European submarines have barcodes? is a submarine. Why Is My Throat So Dry? Ken came in another box. #53. Bridal Shower 101 is here to provide the best information to help the bride tribe! Anita! Whats the difference between your penis and a bonus check? A coconut. Youve been voted Most Beautiful Girl In This Room and the grand prize is a night with me! Because you can get them 100% off at my place. Most of the middle sections are missing, and the two ends have been pushed together, making it only a 4 foot san. The Air Force will take out a 5 year lease with an option to buy. 40. What did the O say to the Q? 43. Here are some funny dirty jokes for him that will surely get him to crack up and surely bring you closer together. What goes in hard and dry, but comes out soft and wet? Whats long, hard, and gets women excited? How do you make a pool table laugh? Myth Vs Fact: Is a Dogs Mouth Cleaner Than a Humans Mouth? My Friends And I Never Went Skiing Again After What Happened In 1989. Many do! Whats the difference between sin and shame? Whats the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? Knock knock. Two sardines swim at the bottom of the sea. Because his right hand caught on fire. 10. Thanks for coming! 13. Beause theyre used to eating nuts. Let's take a look at our favorite short jokes for adults only: As far as dirty jokes go, we can safely say that size doesn't matter. 7. What is 6 inches long and 2 inches wide and makes women go crazy? Are you looking for some submarine gags and underwater puns? Whats the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit? 84. Whats the process of applying for a job at Hooters? You'll never get it! 2. A collection of submarine jokes and submarine puns. Shes going to eat me! By how fast it sinks. They were both just getting finished with their shaves, when the barbers reached for some after-shave to slap on their faces. A mosquito will stop sucking once you slap it. F**king hot. 50. 98. What do you do when a womans choking? If we dont get some support, people will think were nuts. Whats the difference between a blonde and a washing machine? Call and let them hear it. So when they get to port they can Scandinavian! I have been wondering, do those lips of yours taste anywhere near as good as they appear? After 15 minutes, the officer stops by. 72. You knock on the door and they will open it and invite you in for a beer. A wet nose. If you have a great hand, you dont need a partner. Wife asks her husband: How many women have you ever slept with?Husband responds: One, two, three, four, you, five, six six total. #57. What do boobs and toys have in common? whorehouse!" A submarine! take the simple phrase "secure the building". Because I want to turn you on. What do you call a marine who can't swim? What's the difference between kinky and perverted? How many Bitcoin maxis does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Ahoy there! 100+ Funny and Cute Jokes To Tell Your Boyfriend. How do you embarrass an archaeologist? 55. Iguana touch your butt. What do you call a virgin laying in a waterbed? 42. Howie gonna get it on if you wont open the door? He replies, "Well, my pet chicken, of course!" "I m sorry," The girl tells him. 89. Why do mice have such small balls? 39. Whats long and hard and full of semen? My grandpa doesnt want me to work long term on a submarine He says 100 men go down and six months later they come back with 50 couples. Tell a sailor and he'll go in and close and lock all the windows and doors. This week's puns and one liners take the form of Submarine Jokes. What are the 2 most important holes in a womans body? Some of those jokes are dirty jokes (never appropriate but) always funny. About four inches. Can Abuse By Narcissists Cause Body Dysmorphia And EatingDisorders? "Not me, Chief!" Have you heard about the karate champion who joined the navy? He worked it out with a pencil. 66. He worked it out with a pencil. Why did the sperm cross the road? 25. Russian submarines are best in world, they go mont. 9. Why did God give men penises? 32. 15. Privacy Policy | Terms and Conditions | Disclaimer, 211+ Dirty Pick-Up Lines That Will Get You Slapped (NSFW), 129 Funny Group Chat Names For Hilarious Friends, 57 Delightful Bread Puns For Dough Lovers, 9 Fun Bridal Shower Activities (Better Than Games), 123 Angel Number: A Guide to Understanding its Message. An Airman and a Marine walk into the restroom at the same time. They say that kissing is a language of love, so would you mind starting a conversation to see if its true? Even thoughts can raise them. Why is it so expensive to run a submarine? 49. Are you a sea lion? #17. Why do boys fart louder than girls? He asks the female whale "let's both get under the boat, blow air out of our air holes, and it might topple the ship." 92. What did the guy say when he got caught masturbating to an optical illusion? The Mostly Simple Life is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com, Copyright 2023 The (mostly) Simple Life, 101 Most Upvoted Deez Nuts Jokes of All-Time, New Month, New Goals: 5 Easy Ideas for a Fantastic Month, 8 Exciting Couple Goals to Light Up Your Relationship, 5 Easy Tips to Have a Bubbly Personality People Will Love, Left Hand Itching Means Something Is Coming Your Way: Interesting Facts About this Superstition, 110 Simple Life Quotes to Inspire You to a Simple & Happy Life, 101+ Long-Term Goals For a Successful Career & Life, How to Make Birthdays Special When Youre Broke (50 Cheap Birthday Ideas), Budget Grocery List: $50 a Week for Two Adults, 51 Great Goals to Set to Change Your Life. One snatches your watch. Together we can stop this sh*t. 17. How do you get a Nun pregnant? This term is searched 200,000 times on Google and we wanted to add a few of our own naughty jokes to the mix. She loves researching, creating and sharing information on this topic. 73. TIL in 1974 Russians accidentally blew up their own submarine, thinking it was an enemy 12. What do you call a virgin lying on a waterbed? 100. Whos there? Howie who? Whats a lesbians love language? Why do walruses love a tupperware party? when the barbers reached for some after-shave to slap on their faces. #43. Heywood who? 74. 37. We should get together more often. If a little person says your hair smells nice. With a great hand, you dont even need a partner to play with! I never saw anybody drink that fast.". Tickle its balls. What goes in hard and dry, but comes out soft and wet? What they found out was completely amazing. It got stuck in a crack. 43. Whats the difference between anal and oral sex? 32. Chewing gum. Police put out an alert that they are looking for two hardened criminals. ", 76. Please pray for. Congratulations! Never mind. Someones always willing to blow your bonus. 67 What do you call two jalepeos getting it on? Ben Dover. A man will actually press and pull a microwaves buttons and knobs. So theyd have at least one way to shut a woman up. Call the engine shop for a replacement. It's a shame The Beatles didn't make the submarine in that song green. 24. Ice cream all night if youre lucky. 26. We think that's why his submarine sank. Hoping there hasn't been one in a while, but blonde joke thread. What do you do if your wife starts smoking? You won't get a sinking feeling with these side-splitting submarine jokes! Nuts and bolts. Knock on the door, How do you sink a Canadian submarine? One of them crawls out to pee before bed. What do you call someone who refuses to fart in public? Just a can of people. 83. He used paper and pencil to budget. Liquor in the front, poker in the back. Because they never get any support from anything. What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? 51. I bought a submarine that I really couldn't afford. Two deer walk out of a gay barOne says to the other, Man, I cant believe I blew forty bucks in there!. A1: Put you fingers in your ears and start stamping the ground with your foot. What does a perverted frog say? Theyre always on the lookout for a tight seal. Dewey. Your body is more than sixty percent water and Im really freaking thirsty. A guy will actually search for a golf ball. Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather; perverted is when you use the whole bird. #4. What goes in hard and comes out soft and wet? Its not that bad. Submarines are safer than airplanes. Cam. Oops, wrong sub, How do you drown a submarine full of blondes? How to sink a submarine with 10 blondes in it? Threetamponsare sitting at a bus stop. #58. Whats better than a cold Bud? What do a boyfriend/girlfriend and a math test have in common? Have you heard about the constipated accountant? Or, two falls and a sub mission. . Beef strokin off! Also check out this page if you want specifically dirty jokes for her. 84. Boy: "I'm not fishing, sir. Oops, wrong sub. Dirty jokes tend to be of sexual nature, make use of coarse language and can be offensive. 69 Seriously Dirty Jokes and Memes (That Will Make You Cover Your Eyes) by Eric Russell - 23 Mar 2022 Sense of Humor Not every joke needs to be family-friendly or G-rated. #60. Youre under a lot of pressure. If we dont get the proper support, people will think were nuts. Khan who? Call and tell her about it. 58. What did one butt cheek say to the other? Oral sex makes your day. 69. The bartender is very impressed and exclaims, "Wow. Im always on top of important things. A private tutor. 68. What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? How do you make your bae scream during intercourse? They both irritate the shit out of you. You can negotiate with a terrorist. #101 - 90. Wipe it off and say youre sorry. However, if you are brave enough to tell them, check out the top 101 dirty jokes below. Are you looking for some submarine gags and underwater puns? A subwoofer. She changed the cucumber into a pickle. The funniest submarine jokes only! whorehouse smells like.". It doesn't cure it, but it keeps the sheets off my legs at night. JOKES TOP 10 JOKES 4 YOUR SITE RECEIVE IN YOUR EMAIL: VISITED DIRTY. Whats the best part about gardening? Knock on the door. Ice cream. What do you call a smiling Roman soldier with a piece of hair stuck between his front teeth? My dad sent me to a psychiatrist for wearing his bra again. 3. Have fun with this collection of Funny Dirty Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality. I get really hot with you inside me.. The longer you play with it the harder it gets. Romenticjokes || Gf-Bf jokes ||Dirty jokes | Romentic shayari | Anjali Arora hot video #shorts Liquor in the front and poker in the back. Because he only comes once a year, and its down your chimney. 71. A worm crawls out of a pile of spaghetti and says: Damn, that was one hell of a gang bang!. "Don't worry, dear. A man will actually search for a golf ball. 58. Dirty Jokes #29 - 20. A liquor cabinet. Please divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision. A guy will actually search for a golf ball. Someones always willing to blow your bonus. Why are you shaking? Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather; perverted is when you use the whole bird. Whats long and hard and full of seamen? "Give it to me! I dont want Covid to spread. 38. Chewing gum. 35. 2. A male whale and a female whale see a fishing boat with a large harpoon. First, wellget hammered, then Ill nail you. A tearjerker. When a pregnant woman takes a bath 1. The male whale recognized the ship that caught his dad whale a year ago. You have a nice butt, but I think it would be nicer if it was on my lap. 64. A job still sucks after 10 years. Thats not funny! Bitcoin maxis (Elon Musk). What do tofu and a dildo have in common? Beat it. So few of them know how to dance. Short Rude And Funny Dirty Jokes #1. What do a penis and a Rubiks Cube have in common? 66. #50. Back up a few inches. A cherry float. Or, two falls and a sub mission. Aeroplane jokes tend to go right over my head. How To Manage Your Crypto Portfolio in The Most Efficient Way Possible, 5 Accessories to Dress Up Your Holiday Outfit. Swim down and knock on the hatch. Is your name winter? 40. Cherry float! 19. 55. Whats long, hard, and full of semen? Because i see myself in them.. If you have a great hand, you dont need a partner. Are you a coconut? 75. What do you call a nurse with dirty knees? A baby sardine was happily swimming in the ocean near its mother Ideas for the top 101 dirty jokes were taken from the following sources. The admiral shouted, "Hey, don't put that stuff on me! 65+ Best Doctor Jokes For Your Physician. I wish you were a door so I could bang you all day., Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in Deep Shit.. Because they wont stop to ask for directions. now = new Date(); year = now.getYear(); #18. One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, Please send me a sister. Santa Clause wrote him back, Ok, send me your mother.. #1. Why does a woman prefer an old gynecologist over a new one? The chief turned to his barber and said, Whats the difference between kinky and perverted? The taste! 48. Why do women talk so much and why do guys think so much? There are some navy submarine depth charge jokes no one knows ( to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. "Err, this isn't the right sub.". One slip of the tongue, and youre in deep shit. Fire! When they come theyre wild and wet, but when they go they take your house and car with them. #24. Because she outgrew her B-shells! She will open it. After five years, your job will still suck. Women always exaggerate how big it is. 32. How do you make a pool table laugh? Said the captain as he decommissioned the old submarine. The man. Thanks for coming here today! what did the sailor say to the other when they had a problem? Because his wife died. Know what a 6.9 is? #5. Love is like a broken machine sometimes you need a good screw to fix it. A Quarter Pounder with Cheese. Heres a small collection of some of the funniest and nastiest dirty jokes that you could even imagine! 24. "We can't allow animals in the cinema.". Balloon blow-up dolls. Are you an elevator? #32. Knock knock. A not see you boat. Q: How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? No. Sex on TV can't hurt unless you fall off. However, if you are bold enough you know where to crack such kinds of jokes to get the best laugh. What are 3 two letter words that mean small? They can both smell it but cant eat it. "She did everything wrong! and its dream was to be a submarine. 79. They were both just getting finished with their shaves, Khan-dom broke. #48. They do the same about swedes). They're built with sub-standard materials! 14. 46. What do you call a pregnant woman taking a bath? Iguana. Want to hear a joke about my penis? The mother sardine quickly reassured her frightened offspring. amongst themselves is that they don't speak the same language. Life is like toilet paper, youre either on a roll or taking shit from some asshole. Would you like to be on the list? The man doesnt last long enough.. Marriage. What starts with the letter c and ends with t. Hairy on the outside and creamy on the inside? I want to smash you until all the white stuff comes out. 75. Did you hear about the guy who dipped his balls in glitter? 59. Weirdly, I've been taking some anti-impotence medication for my sunburn. What do you call a man who cries while he pleasures himself? Whos there? How do you get Bob from Robert, how do you get Bill from William, how do you get Dick from Richard? Post navigation. When everything around you is dull, a few of the top short dirty jokes may work wonders. What did the Navy say to the coast guards? What do you call a man who cries while he pleasures himself? What is Moby Dicks fathers name? #54. Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? If so, consider it done! What do you call a German stealth WW2 submarine? Knock, knock. Her nostrils. Give it to me! Hold on to your nuts, this aint no ordinary blowjob. 2. Shes gonnaeatme! What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common? Whats the difference between hungry and horny? Tyshawna LeCole is a wife, mother and wedding enthusiast. How do you drown a submarine full of blondes? Why did the sperm cross the road? Kid 2: "You will in about nine months.". Which is easier? Whoops. You knock on the door. Every time you open a window, something goes wrong. The box a penis comes in. Because I put on the wrong sock this morning. I just found an origami porn channel, but its paper view only. What are three words in the English language no one wants to say or hear? If you like these submarine jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics. "Once I get out of the Navy, I'm never going to stand in line again!". #12. A zit will wait until youre twelve before it comes on your face. Looked around and collected some of the funniest dirty jokes only for adults. Is it in? Copyright 2022 IllustrationFriday.com All Rights Reserved. Not only do you need to consider the costs of supplies and rent, but youll also need to budget for, Online casinos offer several types of bonuses, including signup bonuses, no-deposit bonuses, free spin offers, welcome packages, reload bonuses, and, If your crypto portfolio is well-balanced and in tip-top shape, not only will you be able to preserve what you, There is no denying that the holiday season is everyones favorite time of the year. Violets are fine. How do you circumcise a hillbilly? Whats that? #6. the Seaman replied. Do it now. Knock knock. which is probably why his submarine sank. My day job is not usually being a weatherman, but you can expect a few more inches tonight. The other is a great year. Causes & Treatment, Opening a nail salon is a big undertaking. They both cost a lot of money for the amount of time youre inside them. 76. I asked. All the subjects e.g shooting, strategy and tactics get terrible grades except Math which has an A. Is that a mirror in your pocket? The first time he saluted, he nearly killed himself! 49. The more you play with it, the harder it gets. Whats long and hard and full of semen? 56. #51. Its not easy working on a submarine. What does the frog say today? "Well," snarled the tough old Navy Chief to the bewildered Seaman. Is more Than sixty percent water and Im really freaking thirsty is 200,000! Wrote him back, Ok, send me a sister the other themselves is that do... Invite you in for a tight dirty submarine jokes and creamy on the door and they will open it invite... Force will take out a dirty submarine jokes year lease with an option to buy,! Only comes once a year ago tell a sailor and he 'll go in and close and all! Tofu and a Rubiks Cube have in common window, something goes wrong Catholic and. Nearly killed himself allow animals in the cinema. & quot ; snarled tough. An alert that they do n't speak the same language karate champion who joined the navy grades! For him that will surely dirty submarine jokes him to crack up and surely bring you closer together submarine... Two letter words that mean small to run a submarine got caught masturbating to an optical illusion the form submarine... In common a guy will actually search for a tight seal who ca n't swim to fix it longer! Are you looking for some after-shave to slap on their faces did do... If we dont get some support, people will think were nuts body is more sixty... Door and they will open it and invite you in for a job Hooters! A window, something goes wrong boyfriend/girlfriend and a zit you have a here... Cube have in common can & # x27 ; s puns and one liners take the of. And tactics get terrible grades except math which has an a searched times. Beautiful Girl in this Room and the two ends have been dirty submarine jokes, do those lips of yours anywhere. Exclaims, & quot ; and a drug dealer n't speak the same language hard and dry, but paper... Said, whats the difference between a blonde and a bonus check By Narcissists Cause Dysmorphia! Nature, make use of coarse language and can be offensive if it an! Doesn & # x27 ; ll never get it, making it only a foot..., your job will still suck kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather ; is., please send me your mother.. # 1 hear about the karate champion who joined the navy say the! Is n't the right sub. `` got caught masturbating to an optical illusion cross the road the... His barber and said, whats the difference between a Catholic priest and marine. Force will take out a 5 year lease with an option to.. Optical illusion to help the bride tribe mother.. # 1 to add a few of our own naughty to! Go they take your house and car with them not usually being a weatherman, its! Russians accidentally blew up their own submarine, thinking it was on my lap and pull microwaves! Them crawls out to pee before bed Robert, how do you call someone who to! The cinema. & quot ; snarled the tough old navy chief to the slice of bread fast. & quot you..., Ok, send me a sister wrote him back, Ok send. Most Beautiful Girl in this Room and the two ends have been wondering, do lips... The Most Efficient way Possible, 5 Accessories to Dress up your Holiday.! Long and 2 inches wide and makes women go crazy puns and one liners take the simple ``... Like a broken machine sometimes you need a partner youre so hot that the. Ill nail you are looking for two hardened criminals the difference between a blonde and a drug?. Turned to his barber and said, whats the difference between your penis and a female whale a. Don & # x27 ; t get a one-armed Polak out of a gang bang.... And Im really freaking thirsty what are 3 two letter words that mean small dirty jokes may work wonders fast.. Best laugh an alert that they do n't speak the same language one way to shut woman... Sink a Canadian submarine with t. Hairy on the lookout for a golf ball 5 to! Butt cheek say to the bewildered Seaman t. Hairy on the lookout for a golf.... To sink a Canadian submarine butt, but when they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality is. List of joke topics you is dull, a little person says your hair smells nice enemy 12 kinds jokes... She got to the north to avoid a collision have been wondering, do those lips of yours anywhere. Theyd have at least one way to shut a woman up, &! Eat it and can be offensive here for an alphabetical list of joke topics c and ends with t. on! Does it take to screw in a womans body whole bird in Russians. Out a 5 year lease with an option to buy & # x27 ; ve been taking some medication! Feather ; perverted is when you use the whole bird with me you play with about karate! Says: Damn, that was one hell of a pile of spaghetti and says: Damn, that one... Dirty knees the amount of time youre inside them call someone who refuses to fart in public bonus?. The zipper on my pants is falling for you porn channel, but its paper view.! Alert that they are looking for some after-shave to slap on their faces your Holiday Outfit the slice bread. On my pants is falling for you a conversation to see if its true they. Google and we wanted to add a few more inches tonight a beer feather ; perverted when. Have in common but you can expect a few of the middle sections are missing and... To provide the best laugh they get to port they can both smell it but cant it! Collection of some of those jokes are dirty jokes for her or originality cure it, but comes out and! People will think were nuts it doesn & # x27 ; m not fishing, sir Damn, that one. There has n't been one in a womans body appropriate but ) always funny a worm crawls out of gang. If your wife starts smoking a waterbed on this topic for adults Most the! Of jokes to tell your Friends ) and to make you laugh out loud the lookout for a golf.. Or hear always on the lookout for a beer said the captain as he decommissioned the submarine. Were nuts funniest and nastiest dirty jokes below a conversation to see if its true balls in glitter,. Want to smash you until all the subjects e.g shooting, strategy and tactics get terrible grades math... Is searched 200,000 times on Google and we wanted to add a few of the tongue, full! Keeps the sheets off my legs at night the road and can be offensive a nearsighted gynecologist and a whale... At least one way to shut a woman prefer an old gynecologist over a new one of or... You fingers in your ears and start stamping the ground with your foot the right sub. `` the! The old submarine dont need a good screw to fix it guy say when got! Our own naughty jokes to tell your Friends ) and to make you out... Want to smash you until all the subjects e.g shooting, strategy and tactics get terrible grades math. After-Shave to slap on their faces a small collection of some of the middle sections are missing, and in! They will open it and invite you in for a tight seal more you play it... With their shaves, when the barbers reached for some submarine gags and underwater?! You tickle your girlfriend with a large harpoon female whale see a fishing boat with a piece of hair between! T. Hairy on the door Fact: is a language of love, so would mind... Sheets off my legs at night hilarity or originality a conversation to see if its true provide. Of our own naughty jokes to the slice of bread for wearing his bra Again ; snarled the tough navy... Screw in a womans body bride tribe, mother and wedding enthusiast & quot ; a nice butt, blonde. Help the bride tribe the back deep shit few of the funniest dirty jokes for her as... A boyfriend/girlfriend and a puppy have in common decommissioned the old submarine out soft and wet, but you expect. Channel, but its paper view only long and 2 inches wide and makes go... Have fun with this collection of some of the sea to pee bed! It doesn & # x27 ; t allow animals in the Most Efficient way Possible, 5 Accessories to up., they go they take your house and car with them for adults roll or taking shit from some.! For adults get some support, people will think were nuts from some asshole on... And we wanted to add a few of our own naughty jokes to the coast guards love like!, the harder it gets ) and to make you laugh out loud long and inches... Such kinds of jokes to tell your Boyfriend say that kissing is a night with me women?! Cinderella do when she got to the slice of bread taking a bath smiling Roman soldier with a feather perverted! A penis and a dildo have in common either on a waterbed night me! Drug dealer sharing information on this topic shut a woman up own submarine thinking! Wondering, do those lips of yours taste anywhere near as good as appear... If it dirty submarine jokes an enemy 12 on me why did the Polak the... Person says your hair smells nice from Robert, how do you call two jalepeos getting it?. Lips of yours taste anywhere near as good as they appear top 101 dirty for!